Dear Alex…

 

Dear Alex,

You should go out in the sun!

Let me explain to you, you live in England. Very rarely is it sunny, in fact many joke we only have one or two days of summer a year. Unfortunately, this joke is just a little bit too true! There are many reasons you should go out in the sun, for example:

a)      You look like a snowman! That pale complexion is not fooling anyone, trying to convince people you look like an ‘English Rose’ is convincing no-one. You need a tan!

b)      I’m sure somewhere along the line you’ll get a vitamin D deficiency, the sunlight does you good, get used to being out there!

c)       You really can’t apply fake tan. I don’t care if it’s moisturiser with a tanning element, you’re so pale it just sticks to you. No matter how careful you are applying it, you will still look like you deserve to be in fruit bowl!

d)      You moan ALL the time at work that you’re not going to get to see the sun. When you do get home all you do is sit inside, either go outside or stop moaning!

Let me give you some advice my beautiful amigo, you spend all your money on summer dresses. A whole wardrobe full of them you have and do you wear them out? No, you sit in your living room swishing the bottom around like a child who has been forced to play inside because she refused to do as she was told.

You’re constantly giving out advice, so perhaps you should take some this time… Enjoy the summer, if a heat-wave and a day-off happen to coincide take it for what it is and go somewhere nice, get a tan and have fun!

Much love

A very pale, boring you!

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